Rumblings of a marketing man on tour…

Well, Asia wouldn’t be Asia without a deathtrap tuktuk ride now, would it?

It lashed down with rain for 30mins about 5pm. Properly torrential. Which was nice in the way really hard rain can be. A lot of the side / smaller roads aren’t too road like, so it was a rather bumpy ride.

Factor in a bike that’s probably not seen a service since 1972, and, well, you get the idea. That and actually picking a side of the road to travel on. It’s broadly the right, but this seems entirely at the drivers discretion…

Several wheel spins, one near tip (and a quick word to Ganesha), we make it to Blue Pumpkin (highly recommended by KC). Its clearly something of a Cambodian institution.

Downstairs, we have tables spilling onto the busy street. Inside downstairs, very average café like.

Upstairs however, is mostly white. Extended sofa type beds mean you can kick your shoes off and stretch out. Perfection…

The comfy Blue Pumpkin

Special little tables allow your food to perch around your bad self, assuming you get round to feeding yourself. If only I could stretch out and have someone feed me grapes….

Big ceiling fans keep you cool, and the free wireless ensures them regular visitation from the laptop luvvies. Handy, as the wireless in my hotel is about as reliable as 3 broadband customer services back in Blighty. Bad…

The waiter, well, he’s his own variety of delectable. No doubt Lady Muck (whose boyfriend seemed to like that nickname), wouldn’t approve, him being a worker and all….

Skipping back to KL for a moment if I may (almost over the lack of koala / oompaloompa sightings), when we were at the meeting at the airline, she noticed me clock a very fit, very handsome, and rather dirty technician in an overall.

Quite short, but muscled, stunning pearly whites, and a wicked grin I could read from 60,000 feet. He could easy have posed for an Asian Anne Geddes catalogue. Or, did she do babies? I’m thinking of the dude with two big car tyres greased up in overalls. Meh, anyhoo…

A slap to the arm, a firm yank, a loud no and marching orders proceeded. I was left somewhat stunned…

I was horrified to learn, I could do better than ‘a worker’. I mean, me and a worker, perish the thought ladies and gentleman. He was a baggage handler, therefore in a lowly social class all of his own. Apparently…

My argument of him not being for Christmas (well, it worked for all those puppies), didn’t wash. A valiant effort on my part, but it seems the race / sex / status fixations in Singapore run deep. And I thought we were class obsessed in Britain.

Still, beer number two beckons. The signature fish ravioli in coconut sauce was rather special. Very melt in the mouth. Speaking of which, that waiters smile, could melt a lot more.

Note to self, no more beer here. I don’t have Robert Redford’s millions after all!

Iain doesn’t want to leave Blue Pumpkin…

The best street I have found on my travels thus far...

I am learning a lot out here. First time I feel I’ve been doing that in a fair old while…

Mainly about Asia, it’s people, history, politics.  Fascinating stuff. For me anyway!

Oh, and how my liver can still withstand chronic bouts of abuse, yet manage to deliver hefty work projects. Maybe it’s something to do with the heat, it struggles with that in Londres…

Still, some of my random ’learnings’;

• Although people jaywalk, there are plain clothes ticket inspectors that can fine you on the spot
• It’s illegal to walk around your apartment naked. Lots of expats did it, it offended the local sensibilities. It was therefore, outlawed…
• Singapore has a big stack of gold buried under it’s CBD. Indonesia’s I believe…
• Hospital bills here can be very expensive
• You will be imprisoned if you don’t educate your children. If you can’t afford to pay, the state will help
• And of course (and maybe most importantly); the language of love, is universal. And boy am I well-tuned. Like Miss Jean Brodie, I am in my prime. And these are my, oh, you get the picture.

Iain is packing for Jakarta. And of course I didn’t. She went by bus. Boom bloody boom…

PS If I get blown up in Jakarta by some freak terrorist incident, it’s been real readers.

PPS for those of you that don’t get the MJB reference, you’ll most likely know her as Professor McGonnagal off of  the Harry Potter filmage. Dame Maggie Smith. Fucking legend in her own true right…

Not the life I am living. At all...

Let me make this crystal clear, I am not living the expat life.

I am trying to immerse myself in local culture (whether or not people think I’m capable of  ‘seeing through the eyes’ of a local).

For me, part of the joy of being here is siting back, watching the locals, seeing the very separate and distinct cultures that live in virtual segregation, engaging with them on their terms. 

And I know I joke about having the odd Starbucks, but I am not eating in MacDonald’s and Pizza frickin hut every night. I GO LOCAL!

I know how much I’m getting out of being here, massive eye opener. But at the end of the day, we are all humans. We eat, shit, sleep, fuck and inbetween time, live a bit. Basic fundamentals, we’re largely all the same. Just sometimes the order shifts and the triggers are slightly different…

On that note, I’m off for a beer in the lush bar in the lobby of the office. Pix to follow…

Iain nailed the brief today. Hooooya!

Say cheese...

A Japanese family decided to take the table next to me at breakfast.

Loud, poor table manners. Still, playing to stereotypes, they all had swish cameras.

Quite why breakfast featured so many golden Kodak moments is truly beyond me…

It’s 32 degrees outside, and I have a stack of work to do. Boo.

Still, this secondment is great. It’s something that I think most people in the service industry in Britain should actually do.

Everyone from the manager, porter, maitre de, right down to the the bar boys n’girls and cleaners. Asia really gets good service. Us Brits could learn a lot from them…

Iain finds himself a touch sleepy on day three of the tour.